Last year, during the Idul Fitri Holiday, I lost a part of me.
9 September 2010, I waited for my mother to come home. She promised to bring me to the hospital in the afternoon, because I was weak and nauseous since 2 days ago. At the same time, my sister, who was sick since January, was taken to RSCM Kencana by my dad. I thought it was going to be a regular check up, like she always had before and that’s why I chose to stay in bed and not accompany her to the car. It was the biggest regret of my life..
Apparently, the doctor at Eka Hospital diagnosed me with Typhus and I had to be hospitalized. Meanwhile, my sister was also hospitalized, and again.. I thought it was just going to be for a couple of days for her. Since January, she was in-and-out of hospitals for almost 6 times. My parents did not tell me that she was in ICU at that time. When I did found out about it from our neighbor, I told my mom to stay with my sister, she needed her more. Adit was with me the whole time, thankfully.
14 September 2010, 2pm. I was released from the hospital with a bunch of drug prescriptions and a one week bed rest obligation. My parents were staying at RSCM Kencana with my sister, who was sent back to a normal patient room. I told them that I would come visit my sister after I felt better. They told me not to worry about my sister, but a part of me was anxious.
14 September 2010, 11pm. I received the most horrifying and unforgettable phone call from my mother. My sister passed away at 10.50pm. It was the worst day of my life. It took me a very long time to decrease the feeling of regret and loss.
Idul Fitri Holiday brings back a very tragic memory. Yes, sometimes I wish to do things differently during her last days. I wish for a more proper goodbye with her. A last kiss, last hug and a last “everything is going to be okay” whisper.
As time goes by, I try to remember the positive memories we shared together. She was an amazing person. Most importantly she was an unforgettable sister. She is my sister, thefore, she is half of me.
In Memory of Made Shinta Pravita Dewi (07 Dec 1983 − 14 Sep 2010).
I love you, and I always will. I’ll see you in my dreams :’)